The Feisty Lady and the Single Life

Feisty ladies! I recently read an article about “the habits of single people” and I thought that I would share it with you.

Seems that there are 10 “habits” of single people. (Who knew?) I will discuss each habit below and add my feisty lady comments to each one. Maybe you agree with the view of the single person who came up with this list or maybe you agree with this feisty lady.

1. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. Going solo to any event is okay”. Most feisty ladies that I know do go out with other friends whenever they want. They laugh, share food (especially desserts), and have a good time. If I want to go out, I also remind myself that there is safety in going with others. I often buy two concerts tickets and ask a friend, female or male. For me, going with friends is the norm.

2. “Please…no more blind dates. I can find my own dates, thank you”. We can all commiserate with this one. Blind dates are not always bad, but some can leave all of us feeling this way on one occasion or another (a topic of another blog). No one I know ever turns down a blind date unless they have an inkling about who the guy really is. Most feisty ladies that I know think that meeting new people is always fun. Most feisty ladies that I know also welcome a blind date from a friend they know and trust. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

3. “I really do not want to talk about anyone’s sex life”. Why not? I have many feisty lady friends who discuss their sex lives in general and not specific terms. No one seems to care, though, after a few bottles of wine, when the “talk” gets a little more specific we generally resort to raucous laughter and hoots and quick trips to the bathroom to avoid having an “accident”. Even the movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey” could not stop my feisty friends from eating and gabbing, two of our favorite things in life. Everyone I know talks about sex. What feisty lady isn’t wowed by the “White Purse” fashion show?

4. “Yes, your spouse is hot, but he is not for me”. Anyone who has to brag about their ”hot” spouse has some issues. I have never heard any of my feisty friends discuss their husbands’ in this context. Or maybe we are all too old to care. Or maybe we are still too wrapped up in the movie and video cited in example #3.

5. “I am very picky. My guy has to be perfect and I will not settle for less. I have been there, done that”. Picky? Been there done that? Or just not really interested? I really wonder about this statement. No perfect guy exists so get over that one. We are all imperfect people. Maybe that is why the person who generated this list is still single. Find a partner who is your ”equal” in the areas that are most important to you. He will have flaws. You have flaws. Get over this “perfect” complex ASAP.

6. “I could be single forever. I enjoy my family and friends. I can go out whenever I want. I can date whenever I want”. Most feisty ladies that I know love their families, their friends, and do go out with their lady friends whenever they want. This really has nothing to do with being single. It has to do with the “whatever I want” idea. Sounds a bit like a spoiled child who gets upset when “ they can’t do what they want”. I find that those who really feel this way about being single are not happy about being single. This statement sounds defensive.

7. “The perks of being single are great! I have freedom, peace, happiness, no stress, and I am content”. The writer of this list must live in a world different than mine. We all have a degree of freedom (whatever that means), peace (be more specific about this one, too), happiness (I am happy every day), no stress (where does this person live? Just getting to work can be stressful), and am content (about what?). These perks are there for everyone and are a description of how we can all live our lives single or not single.

8. “I don’t need to go out with you and your friends. I do not need your pity”. No
group of friends that I have asks anyone out to join our group because they pity you, but actually because they like your company. An evening out with feisty ladies can be great fun, if you allow yourself to have fun. Drop the pity party and enjoy life. It may surprise you.

9. “You can still talk to me. I am a good listener. I have been in relationships”. Many of my feisty friends are married and we chat, laugh, and enjoy each others’ company. We listen to each other and respect everyone’s marital status in life. We usually do not talk about this anyway. There are far more interesting things to talk about. And we are all pretty good listeners, usually.
We also do our fair share of ogling guys as well.

10. “I can go out to dinner and a movie alone. It is relaxing. It forces me to talk to other people”. You really chat with other people who are out to dinner? Who are at a movie? And what reaction do you get from the happy couple? Sometimes I “pre-screen” a kiddie movie before I take small children because I am concerned about the “scary” factor, but that is very rare. I only eat out alone if I have some work project due that needs a change of “scenery” to
complete said project. My feisty lady friends often might have a quiet cup of coffee at the local Starbucks but usually some one shows up that they know and the quiet is gone but maybe the company is just what they needed.

So feisty ladies, how many of these “habits of the single life” 10 statements did you agree to follow? You can tell from my comments that I agreed with almost none of them. I know of many divorced feisty ladies who are still searching for their “Mr. Right” and believe in one friend’s mantra that sums it all up like this: “you got be in it to win it”. Feisty words to live by ladies if you choose to remain single or choose to find the right guy for you!

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