A Friend with Benefits..Really?

I am sure that you were wondering when a post like this would appear and here it is!

I have read about and seen movies about people who have relationships like this, but never thought that I would actually know someone who seems happy with this set-up.

A friend of a friend has her very own special “friend with benefits.” It all started when he arrived to repair her house plumbing and heating…. and stayed the night. They have continued on like this for months. She is happy and he is too or so he says. He is in a very unhappy marriage (sounds typical), sleeps on the couch every night (when he is home that is), and lives with a shrew of a woman (this sounds typical, too). Seems that his wife knows about my friend ( I wonder about this), but does not really care. He has a wildly successful business and will not divorce his wife and give her the 1/2 that she is entitled to have. All of his answers sound pretty standard to me.

She is blissfully happy with this arrangement. Twice a week sleepovers seem to be working for her. She doesn’t have to cook for him or clean up after him or remind him to take out the trash. He is kind and thoughtful, caring and compassionate, she says. All is well with their arrangement. The sun shines brightly. The flowers have faded yet the leaves are beautiful. Check out the moon! Each day is a golden one. (No more sappy stuff. You get the picture.)

And then the dreaded “f” word, the feeling word (not the other one), entered the picture.
My friend started having feelings for this guy and now things are in a “holding pattern”.
Seems that this guy, like so many other losers, freaked out when that word came from her mouth. He liked the “friend with benefits” set up and says that he “likes” her as well but
nothing more. She is still continuing the relationship but for how long I do not know. As long as she keeps her feelings to herself, things will go well. But at what point will the “friend with benefits” case to be a real benefit to her?

I have been the woman who found out about the “other woman” and I know how bad that felt. To ever be the “other woman” in a relationship is something that I will never ever be. We should all be happy and feisty, but always maintain our own dignity, honesty, and self worth. If you can keep those self values and have a “friend with benefits” just go for it. It would never work for me. I deserve better!

One comment

  • Wow! Does all that sound familiar..Been there ,did that & still have the scars…if she has feelings now & is not happy, just wait till the “L” word comes..I’ve been on both ends of the stick & actually think her end is harder…when I found out I threw his ass out & moved on…she can’t…she needs to realize as this goes on, it really is “lonely”.. A free end with benefits never s as that way..

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